Life on the road - Erasmus

Hi guys,

I wanted to talk to you today about what's going on in my head, even though I haven't written on this blog in a while.

It's been 13 years now since, full of hope and disappointed by a love story that I thought would not, I decided to leave for the adventure of life: Erasmus. I applied to my university and came in as a third candidate. When they called me to choose the final destination among the 3 possible ones indicated by me: Denmark-Aarhus, Austria-Vienna, Madrid-Spain; the choice was quite easy.

On 27th July 2006 I collected my little things and left for my Erasmus year. I spent 12 wonderful months in Aarhus in which I improved my English but most of all I met wonderful people, I was able in that context to savor the cultural differences with people who came from all over the world: Canada, United States, Africa, Indonesia , China, Japan, Iceland, Australia, Brazil and even Europe ... The most solid friendships, still existing today, are still the lifeblood of my life

When I arrived I was a little fearful and scared, shy like today but with less awareness. Slowly I met my peers and not, I had experiences of university parties, I was able to experience how to study at a university other than the one you come from but most of all I experienced who I really am; it was perhaps the only moment in my life when I was 100% myself. Unlike Italy, I was well accepted for who I was, I didn't have to hide or change my way of doing things and relating to others just to be accepted, and I often wondered why this difference.

< p> Well today I think I have the answer: Italy has many positive aspects as it is a beautiful nation with so many treasures but unfortunately if you live there you cannot be yourself, never and the events that gradually follow one another in this beautiful country proves it.

If you are not part of a system that accepts falsehoods, recommendations, hustlers, political acquaintances, preferential social classes, patriarchy, ... life is complicated.

If you are different from what is considered normal or heterosexuality, skin color, way of thinking you are avoided like the plague even if you hide behind the façade of doing good "Italians are not racists". Well it's not true, maybe they are not all but even those who are not 'if they expressed their opinion contrary to that of the others would be in some way accused for ... This means that there is a fake goodness.

Italians are not able to listen and those who do are considered a person not to hang out with.

If you always say what you think or do not behave like the crowd, you are considered in 2 ways: "crazy" or "unmanageable" and of both subjects people are afraid because if you have nothing to hide it is not possible you can be manipulated so that what you can lose by dating a person like you is greater than what you can earn from you. Then the answer is to ignore the human being.

From 2007 to today the situation has even worsened, kids who "my woman", "you have to do what I say" or who feel strong in pack and perpetrate violence around just because bullying is considered cool on the web as well as violence in general (in fact no one would help someone in trouble but they prefer to shoot the story on istagram or put the video on the internet). Culture is practically non-existent despite the amount of graduates present. If you are killed or raped "you asked for it" or "we must understand they are boys" or even "it is the fault of the dead or the raped because he was a certain type of person or he posed himself in a certain way or even worse he dressed in a certain way "or" it's your fault because you got divorced or left someone ".

I don't like this world but I'm forced to live in it and like me many other people ... I don't have the hope that something will improve (the state and all the institutions, the economic powers are doing everything to barbarize the people because it's easier to control and manipulate).

Passwords for living in this world:

-economic power ,

-patriarchy;

-falsity;

-submission

-violence

-social isolation .

I don't know what you think but a nice picture doesn't come out ... Wherever you tolerate all this is a society you can escape from, not live in ...

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream-and not make dreams your master;
If you can think-and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings-nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And-which is more-you'll be a Man, my son!

(Kipling Rudyard)

we have to fight discrimination and gender difference

Today and in the past days I have thought a lot about the phrase that a well-known TV presenter said at the press conference to present who would have joined him in Sanremo 2020. To hear a professional say, a man who will present the Italian song festival on a channel national, that women are great women if they are able to be with great men because they have to be always a step behind them, not only it is anti-feminist and discriminating but I think it is only the preamble for the situation in this Country called Italy getting worse and worse.

I was born in this country 36 years ago and thanks to the struggles of women like me I have seen public opinion and ordinary people change ahead of me with the various laws enacted including that on abortion. Women have been given more and more opportunities to demonstrate who they were and how much they were worth for how much more complicated it was than simplicity for men. I have seen the country change and allow the so-called "social lift", therefore to extend to the rights earned by women and the rights of the less well-off to improve themselves and of the very gifted and talented people to be able to establish themselves socially thanks to their skills. Well, it has taken years to gain these possibilities, many more than they are going through to take away all these gained possibilities and nobody does anything, including politics. No woman rebels when told to stay in her place or when any person does her slightest physical or psychological violence and does not do so because she knows she is not protected.

On the threshold of my 23 years, when I should have seen the efforts of previous generations bear fruit, unfortunately I was able to savor only the opposite both in the community that was supposed to protect me and at a working level. I was told without being able to argue that the job I was interviewing was not for me, that compared to a woman they preferred to hire a man, I had to be asked if I was going to start a family because the company could not afford to hire a woman who could only have thought she was a mother. I also had to be told that I would have been yet another failure because a woman who chooses "engineering" as her study path is destined to be such. Women are NOT ABLE to be engineers, they told me. Well how to blame these people if on a national TV the secondary nature of being a woman is exalted. So many battles against gender violence to see women on TV who are said to be without even blinking next to those who say that they are nullity. Well I think this turnaround started when I was about 15 years old. I believe men feel their authority and masculinity threatened if a woman proves more capable than they are and if a woman earns more than they do just as the few rich in turn feel the threat of losing that wealth that makes them "powerful" , as if having power at the expense of human dignity is the meaning of life.

They all forget the past, to justify their personal needs. They all forget it so fast to say, as in these days that SHOAH never existed. Well I am not a judge but I analyze what I see and see a world in ruins, families that raise children and young people by teaching them male chauvinism and discrimination. I see a company that increasingly in reverse trend compared to the past makes laws for the protection of women but then condemns those who have suffered violence because they had jeans that were difficult to unbutton or a miniskirt or simply because they did not have to go through a dark alley to alone or a man because if you are able to suffer violations of some kind from a woman you are gay or less man than the others to say that "discrimination exists and must be fought" but at the same time that nobody wants to do it because it could create problems doing it. I have seen children die for this, parents suffer discrimination and have to be told by the community that if the daughter or son had been bullied or raped or had committed suicide for some reason related to cowardice suffered the fault was certainly the boy because he had not been able to defend himself or because he / she had provoked and therefore had to suffer the consequences of his actions without the possibility of appeal.

I know very well what I'm talking about right now because, unfortunately for me, I live in this society and I experience these changes. Like me, you are experiencing these changes too, my question is: 

WHAT CAN WE DO TO CHANGE THIS COUNTERTEND AND RECOVER HOW MUCH OUR AVIERS LEAVE US INHERITANCE? 

HOW CAN WE REBORN THE BOURGEOISIE? 

HOW CAN WE PREVENT THE WORLD FROM GOING DOWN IN AN APPARENTLY NATURAL WAY? 

Although I know that probably no one will answer me, I still ask these questions, you never know in the future someone can read these words and want to do something ... 

If we do nothing and stand still and watch the world change and we don't stop this way of thinking, we will be like the next migrants we don't want to welcome anymore, in our own country. Think about it.

Good evening to all.

My rebellion is my lifeblood

Hello guys,

tonight in the place should be my home or at least I should consider it, I felt out of place.

It has been evident more than ever that it is a place to which I do not belong, to which, perhaps, I never belonged.

My family is as far away from me as possible in the world and I don't know why. They never understood why I behaved in one way rather than another. It is as if every time I need bread they give me water. They know little or nothing about my past because I am not a person who confides in others but they have never seen in my way of behaving a person who has lived something that did not deserve to live. They immediately responded to my rebellion for bullying in the wrong way and never understood. All of them, nobody excluded, would like me different from who I am and they don't even know who I am. They never really knew me, they don't understand what I say, They can't. I am probably not able to explain so well or my way to explain things is not good but it is no matters.

I don't know how I managed to overcome all my messes, psychologically speaking, alone and while others were unintentionally inflicted but now I have the complete picture. All my life I have been told what I was not, what I am unable to do and how useless I was as a human being; I felt humiliated by those I loved most without blinking; I made myself involved so much and I gave so much importance to people who never understood me that I myself came to believe that I was unable to do anything, to be an incapable and useless person at all.

Over the years I have had the financial support of my family, a roof over my head, a warm place to live, to eat, to drink and anything materially necessary for life and I am extremely grateful for this. I thank every day but what good is it to have something if you are not really seen, if nobody notices when you are psychologically in pieces. We live or have lived in a world where only the career counts for those lucky enough to have one, where only working to survive matters. We work so hard to try to give our children and family the best we don't know our children and our family, so much that we get stressed so much from work that we can't even enjoy a lunch or dinner, so much that a conversation that touches the wrong keys makes us become aggressive, so much that we get sick to make up for anxieties and nervousness that push us to think too often and often in a negative way.

We live so taken by futile and material things, by the cult of beauty and having, of perfection that if we leave something out of place or if we don't do something in the way we judge perfect for us, everything becomes an insurmountable problem that we must remedy. we can no longer say "I am tired, I will think of this tomorrow" but only "I have to solve this thing now so I take the thought away".

Personally I think all of this is wrong. That one person, whoever he may be, allows himself to make fun of another, even if only in a bugged mental attempt to encourage change or react, he is wrong. I think nobody deserves to feel a lifetime for nothing and end up believing it. 

Although I have not seen them so far and despite everything I have achieved many goals in my life, goals that many others have not been able to achieve although they were not exactly what I wanted to achieve. I will always be missing in something, I am human but I am happy with who I am and if those around me, my dearest affections do not understand me and will never have the skills to do it patiently. 

I have to go on without needing them to approve or understand me. I must go on now more than ever and continue to do what I do best: love others more than I love myself, study and travel as much as I can without limits and barriers so that I can finally find my place in the world without necessarily having the approvals or the loves that I seek and that I have been looking for all my life.

Goodnight

Mary

Merry Christmas 2019

Another year Is almost passed. Every year we try to find what worked and what not. This year and this Christmas i would like to wih everyone "find yourself and be fatihfull to her/his." Life Is One and you have to live it in your way. Don't listen anybody. Be yourself and do everything your way. You have to answer only to your questions. Treat yourself good and don't judge you too much.You are perfect as you are.

Perfection does not exist

Today I want to share with you part of Vanessa Incontrada's monologue at "20anniCheSiamoItaliani" (Twenty years we are Italian) and that has impressed me a lot. It expresses exactly what I think about the search for perfection typical of today's society. A society that as already said, in my humble opinion, wants us all the same and puppets. It takes us different from what we are. You can find the italian video here:

Perfection does not exist. Maybe they told me before, you know? We should put it among the first teachings they give us: wash your hands before eating, don't say bad words, perfection doesn't exist. 

Do you know how much time lost searching for it? It's like in love, I thought I had to be perfect to find the man of my life, to like him, because he fell in love with me; in the end I found a special man who told me something that made me think a lot: "you have to smile about your faults". And it's true... 

Sometimes I would like to talk to Vanessa many years ago and give her advice, Vanessa stop wanting to be different from what you are because so much perfection doesn't exist. I wanted to become what I am not, a little taller, a little thinner, everyone wanted me different but everyone who? 

I lost time trying to be right and forgetting to be happy because I thought I was wrong in the eyes of others ... 

If I were born in the 30s or 50s when the female model was morbid, I would have been perfect, but I was alive in 2000 and having the forms is considered wrong, and for what reason should I be ashamed? ... 

Now I can smile but it hasn't always been that way because sometimes the criticisms hurt, especially when they come from a cell phone and get straight to the stomach and when you go in around you know that behind the faces you meet on the street or in the supermarket or in front of the school those who think you are wrong could hide. But in reality that "all" does not exist. There are people, some may like others not but that's okay because perfection does not exist, only what you think of yourself counts when you look in the mirror. Well I am proud of what I see, sometimes I like myself others not but I love the person in front of me and I think it is important to surround ourselves with people who love us for what we are and that push us to be ourselves because so much in life "perfection does not exist".